Consensual non-monogamy includes relationship arrangements in which the people involved agree to romantic or sexual connections with others. Discuss which possibilities interest you and which boundaries matter to you. A shared term is a starting point for the conversation. Use specific situations to understand what each person expects.
Reading about a club, attending a social gathering and starting a new connection each call for their own discussion. Say which step you are proposing and listen to the answer. If an important expectation remains unclear, postpone the plan and continue the conversation in a calmer setting. Everyone affected needs room to decline or reconsider.
Agree what you expect to know before and after a new connection. Other people involved also have privacy boundaries, so ask what you have permission to share. Explain an existing agreement to anyone it affects and listen to their own conditions. Keep checking the agreement as circumstances change, especially when a new plan raises a question you have yet to discuss.
APA Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-monogamy. The committee identifies polyamory and swinging among forms of consensual non-monogamy.
